February 22nd, 2012

My sister sent me a text telling me that she would pay me $1.50 if I were to come over and give her a back and neck massage. 

So I broke out my eyeliner, twirled two fresh socks into my hair, and stuffed my sweater with a small fleece blanket. I stepped into her house Umbridge style and said this: 

"Hello. I am Olga. I fix your back for dollar fifty. Make your skin bright red like baby’s buttocks. Ver do I put my bag?"

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